i am kodok

Navigations

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Sunday, November 30, 2008 [ 8:32 PM ]

an old friend visited me yesterday
she wore an expression of sheer abhorrence
she saw hopelessness in me
disgust oozing from my ever pore as i sat there with all-too-much-flesh
the beauty faded just as my bones did
she cried
tears of pain as she saw me not loving myself anymore
victimised by my temptations
i now hold a strife with perfection
i need this control back
time is the essence

ironically,
my mind is on the edge of sanity
massive chocolate cravings
those cravings that never leave your mind
distracting you consistently
endlessly
i am wishing for someone to just pop up at my door with a huge ass bag of dark chocolates
that would indeed be love at first sight
damn!

Friday, November 28, 2008 [ 6:48 PM ]

scotch.
goldstars.
slut.
hot straight chickies.
and the resounding words from arghie-poo
"it is a skill to make a girl squirt and a talent to squirt"
humph.

rainbow

Monday, November 24, 2008 [ 2:47 AM ]

i hate being at home!
just kills me.
miserable as hell!
fuck miserable!
with that woman constantly checking up on you
kill her?

sucks all the more if you look like an obese monstrosity
with a body beyond recognition
and a face that should be scraped off its surface
yet, all you can do is stuff your god-forsaken self with hoards of food

argh.
madness
i hate it!

Sunday, November 23, 2008 [ 8:51 AM ]

as i was eating beef curry for dinner
weird things popped into my head

- what would happen if hippo and kids went into the amazon jungle?
- if i were to call myself a 'limp lesbian', does that mean i have soft hands?
- if you were to munch on something hairy, are there chances of coughing up a hairball?
- why am i such a peculiar person?

think about it..

Monday, November 17, 2008 [ 4:22 AM ]

i abhore all those who deny what they are
and embrace what they are not
it is a reflection of self-denial
blindness to the reality of truth in the self
the vision only perceiving the vastness of their imagination
peering at facades
sickening
for many are victims
you, me and even her

i seek the courage to awake from this dystopian dream
although fantastical with its subliminal phantasms of the self
encompassing all ethereal beauty--beauty? monstrosity?
i want the truth
blatant cold horrendous
yet, the only saviour in our lives
the protector against us falling prey to the sensual clasps of the devil herself

follow me into the darkness
for that is where right is
but who determines what is right or wrong?
definitely not you, all the more never me
so realise
that nothing we know is what it is and what it is supposed to be
we know nothing
so just drink from the chalice of humility

once again thoughts as i stand at my window..

Tuesday, November 11, 2008 [ 8:45 AM ]

a friend whom i love
i see her
beauty and graces
exaggerated perhaps?

Monday, November 3, 2008 [ 6:48 AM ]

peel that make-up off your face bitch

who do you see?

is it a raw and ugly monster

or a natural siren?

bimbotic girls(how i absolutely detest them!)

well not so the born-bimbos(that i deeply love.. :P)

but the acting up sort..

the ugly idiots that act stupid

looking like a walking tragedy

but swishing their hair as though they are god's gift to men

masking themselves behind layers of cosmetics

caked up skin

over-rouged lips

stark pink cheeks

half-stuck lashes

and OH!

the shrill laughter

skrieking voices

limp hands that go flip-flop everywhere

GOD!

and the "do you think i am cute?"

look in the god damn mirror! it cracks...

or the "i know you miss me right?"

COME ON! i do not have the time...

wake up your idea little girls

the world is more than your cosmopolitan magazines

latest trends

dresses and heels

manicures

quit being imbecillic facades!