i am kodok

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this night.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007 [ 9:35 AM ]

a day devoted to tears and frustration

even till the moment i drown myself in sleep

why?

is it pleasurable for you to drive me into this state?

all i can say is thank you

once again you've awakened me to the cold reality

a stronger person that i am?

hopefully..

it is all too familiar

[ 7:50 AM ]

the past days of bliss

mere hallucinations

present day reality

hits hard

enforcing tears, heartwrench

trickles of blood

hate a deformed reflection of love

co-existence

one dependent on the other

like man with his psyche and soul

once bitten, twice shy

but i was bitten twice

a wrong choice

regret

yet, it seemed so right all this while

insanity in sanity

my mental state

confusion

i try to think of happy days

and hope for better ones in future

*three cheers* for me having a study buddy!!!

let's start soon i hope (prelims in 27 days!!)

and now... i need a partner to watch the Simpsons Movie with me.

haha!

i am such a LOSER!

i SAT on UR DAY.

Saturday, July 28, 2007 [ 8:49 AM ]

the malay wedding. been away from such racial roots for 3 years, and i was back! a treasured experience.

then to town. my bosom buddy who always makes me HAPPY!!!

my world's a blur. intoxicated by HER.

i am the woMAN! rahh! fierce as ever...

darling with her NEW shirt. blending with the surroundings (chameleon?!)

REALISM

Sunday, July 22, 2007 [ 8:29 AM ]

these days
dependent on others for my salvation
engulfed in the world of illusionary happiness

today
i awake from this destructive madness
i see my true self
the abhorrent figure that stands as my reflection
the disgust that she is

it is now that i act
aware of what is to be done
rejecting the conscious right

i only have myself
and it is in me where true happiness lies
cerulean beauty

transcendence from my state now till my salvation....

bored as....

Wednesday, July 18, 2007 [ 9:27 AM ]

psychotic

narcissistic

pure boredom

cam whoring before i went to bed! (mummy bought me new pyjamas..)

which sane human does this please?

oh god! im losing sanity from my obesity..

argh!

varying expressions

i need a hug! (pB where are you? all yours...)

sadly

Tuesday, July 17, 2007 [ 7:41 AM ]

momentary happiness
exuberance in language
a reflection of the surge of elation
short lived
reality hits
neglected
obese
life meaningless, decaying
me
an empty entity.

why are you not here for me? -Not So Tenderly

Monday, July 9, 2007 [ 7:45 AM ]

human relations
a funny thing indeed
one moment inseparable, the next polarising entities

you read me, perceive me
wrongly
the way i am pollutes you
my vessel, key to your destruction?
the reality
insanity

is love or emotion ever existent?
a question
to question
is it mere bestial attraction or selfish greed?
ambiguity
no answer

happiness
often crumbles when in excess
sickens
nauseates
solitude in sadness(cleanses me)

do i still have you?

obesophobia!

Thursday, July 5, 2007 [ 6:00 AM ]

GOD i pray for you to bless me with these bones. THIN THIN THIN!

i've been munching on oh-so-SATISFYING doughnuts(DOGHNUT FACTORY)!--> biggest god DAMN irony!

queued a good 2h and more for em.(thanks to my chocolate dear! <33)

XT from butchhunt is like working at chippy's at RC. she's super nice . -winks- trust me, i know.

i got my tongue pierced! oh and its N-A-S-T-Y! my tongue is all swollen and fatty.

i speak with a slur.

i eat like a barbarian.

OH WELL!!

i officially HATE myself.
this is what i am
A FAT SACK OF LARD!!!

those that love me
will kill me
for it is the kindest thing to do
baby if you hear me
you know what to do!